Everyone’s Jean Freaking Chatzky

He's a FOREIGN EXCHANGE student. (Which will make sense in a minute.)

Once a week or so, we get solicited by someone offering to write us a guest post. The offer usually comes as a template, and about 15% of them get the name of the blog wrong (“I really love your work here at    Consumerism Commentary .”) Even when they get our name right, the introductory email almost always tells us all we need to know about the submitter’s writing style (it’s abysmal.)

Last week the folks at something called Forex Traders hit us up. Their point lady was very polite and she followed through when we grilled her on our standards.

The Forex Traders post follows, verbatim. While we don’t like to bother cleaning up other people’s stilted writing (which is far more work than writing a post of our own), we do love to editorialize. So here’s the one-of-a-kind Control Your Cash treatment in a whole new written form: literary criticism (Forex’s gold in this color.) Enjoy.

“Buy-and-Hold” Investing Strategies May Be Extinct Down the Road

Almost everything’s extinct down the road. Just ask trilobites. Not sure what the author’s getting at with the headline. Clearly he thinks something will supplant buy-and-hold investing, but doesn’t think that that replacement is important enough to warrant top billing.

One never-ending “paradox” in the investment community is that, while the investment advisor on the consumer retail front is pushing a “buy-and-hold” strategy for his clients, the back-office traders for the same firm are plying their helter-skelter quantitative trading strategies for all they are worth, and that has translated into millions of dollars of profits for the investment banking community alone.

Wow, way to introduce your topic. Seriously, what are you saying? Here’s a Control Your Cash translation, for our anglophone readers:

Investment advisors encourage you to buy-and-hold. But they make money on commissions, so shouldn’t they preach the opposite?

See what we did there? We went from 66 words to 20 and crystallized your argument. Glad to help.

The back office abhors competition or even the notion of sharing these gains with the general public at large.

“General public at large.” Because “public” wouldn’t have made it clear, so we expanded it to “general public”, and apparently we still don’t think you’d understand what that means, so we went with “general public at large.”
The internet is officially too democratized.

If an investor truly wants above average returns, then he must pick and choose the hot sectors at will.

Write in the second person, you pompously verbose tool. (See? Like that.) You’re not writing to “an investor”. You’re writing to the person reading. Who will appreciate being thought of as a person and not a designation.

Prudent investing may still involve research, locating a value equation that suits your tolerance for risk, making sure that your selections are well diversified, and then pruning and fine tuning your portfolio as time goes by. What has changed is the process for achieving each of these objectives. The era of globalization is upon us.

Oh, for Christ’s sake. “The era of globalization is upon us”? Thanks for that. It’s true, you know. Computers and the internet and jet travel have made it easy to talk to people in London and Paris like they’re just down the street. Dude, the transatlantic cable was laid 150 YEARS AGO.

Sorry, can’t take this anymore. From here on in, we’re going strikethrough on the rest of this bile. Our rewrite will follow. Damn; remember what we said about editing guest posts being more work than writing originals? Maybe one day we’ll learn.

Investing cannot thrive on mere domestic issues alone. Every full-service broker can connect you with any exchange around the globe, but the safest avenue may be to utilize the plethora of Exchange-Traded Funds (“ETF”) that have sprung onto the investing scene in the past decade.

Emerging markets have been the success story over the past decade, and the best way to invest in this space is through an ETF designed for the purpose. Offerings can focus on a specific country or region, like Asia, but when you invest overseas, you must accept some currency trading risk along with the ride. As long as the U.S. Dollar weakens during your holding period, currency appreciation can actually work to your benefit.
Hedging your forex risk is not recommended for the inexperienced, but, by keeping an eye on the Dollar’s general value, you can opt in or out at the most opportune times.

The world has also gone crazy over forex trading during the past decade as well. This popularity has more to do with flexibility and the advance of technical trading platforms, but you need not jump into that market for the short term. If expectations are for a weaker Dollar, and they will continue to be as long as the Fed pursues its quantitative easing program agenda, then there are ETF’s for currency, too. In a weakening situation, the Swiss France (sic) could be a potential bet. If you want a position in the “Swissie”, the “FXF” ETF is invested in the “USD CHF” currency pair and is there for the taking.

ETF’s have the additional benefit of providing instant diversification. No more having to follow twenty-five stocks in your portfolio. Invest in sectors by choosing from a variety of ETF’s. Domestic companies, emerging markets, precious metals, and commodities can now coexist in the same portfolio. As for reviews, check the performance of the few funds that you hold, prune and fine tune as you like, and buy and sell on the exchange as with any other security. Investing in emerging markets was never so accessible.

Translated, he said:

Buy an exchange-traded fund; a mutual fund that, you guessed it, trades on a public exchange. There are ETFs that focus on particular sectors of the economy, or on particular securities (commodities, precious metals, etc.) You can buy ETFs that concentrate on a particular region of the world. That means you’ll have to pay attention to exchange rates. And that means you can hedge a weak U.S. dollar.
Which brings us to trading currencies themselves. But rather than invest directly in baht or rubles, you can buy a currency ETF. For instance, the Rydex CurrencyShares Swiss Franc Trust, which trades on NYSEArca, a division of the New York Stock Exchange.

Why would I buy that instead of just buying francs?

You shouldn’t. The only advantage to a currency ETF is that if you’ve already got a mutual fund through a place that offers currency ETFs, you can have both accounts in one place.

The end.

Addendum:

The headline, which didn’t make much sense when we read it blindly, makes even less sense now.
We’re not above shilling here at Control Your Cash (we’ve been fellating the Amazon Kindle for months now, and even the small version is a chore to wrap one’s lips around), but it’s got to be a product or service we believe in. Which currency ETFs aren’t.

And if you don’t want your clumsy, long-winded, misspelled guest post goofed on and dismembered, send it to someone else.

**This article is featured in the Carnival of Wealth #39**

Want to write for Control Your Cash? Think before asking

The 2nd-best guest post we’ve ever received

Do you take guest posts?

Yes, with reservations. We’ve taken one guest post in the history of the site, largely because few people know how to write. We’ve received plenty of submissions, and shot all but that one post down. If you want to share whatever you’re offering with our readers, here are some informal guidelines:

  • Proper spelling and punctuation. We shouldn’t have to mention this, but sweet Christ if we get one more submission that looks like it was written by an ESL student we’re going to blow up the internets;
  • A different angle. “Checking your Sunday flyer for valuable back-to-school coupons is a great way to save money” wastes our time, yours and everyone else’s;
  • Some research, or at least an appreciation of the real world. Weeks ago we read a post written by a fellow personal finance blogger. She suggested that people who plan to tailgate at football games should save money by buying the decorations for their tailgate party at a discount store.
    Decorations? For tailgating? Yes, because drinking beer in the parking lot at Lambeau Field just wouldn’t be the same without bunting and streamers to give it that festive kick.

Her post wasn’t intended for human brains to digest, it was written for web crawlers. So more pairs of vacuous eyes could read the ads on the page. We believe content is everything here at Control Your Cash. Original, worthwhile content. To help people learn how to – that’s right, control their cash. If you’re dying to post comments sharing your stories about getting your toddler to eat discount baby food, knock yourself out. You just can’t do it here. There are plenty of sites where you can.

  • No shilling a product that we wouldn’t endorse. Seeing as you don’t know what we’d endorse, ask. Or, don’t ask and just assume we will endorse it, and we’ll run your post, but we reserve the right to add commentary about why your product sucks.
  • 800-900 words. If it goes longer, there needs to be a reason. “I could have cut 300 words but didn’t feel like self-editing” isn’t a reason.

And we hate extraneous words. We should probably have listed that first: get to the freaking point of whatever you’re writing about.
That’s about it. Include whatever images you want, and if you want to add HTML tags, that’d make our lives easier but it’s not vital. Our email addresses and Twitter accounts are on the site somewhere.

The Death of Paper

NOTE: content on screen is not always this overwrought

It’s 2010. You’re still buying physical books? How delightfully retro of you. Here’s an unassailable economic argument for the Amazon Kindle. The new non-3G 6” one is $139 on Amazon, and they’re going for more than that on eBay, so we can call $139 the lower bound for the new version. Here are the 10 biggest selling books on Amazon, in descending order:

authorPhysical list price ($)Kindle priceLowest available discounted price
Autobiography of Mark Twain figure it out351018.87
The Lost HeroRick Riordan199.7410.25
Diary of a Wimpy KidJeff Kinneyunavailabledoesn’t matter
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s NestStieg Larsson281011.91
EarthJon Stewartunavailabledoesn’t matter
American AssassinVince Flynn281515.11
The Girl With the Dragon TattooStieg Larsson155.2115
The Last Boy: Mickey Mantle and the End of America’s Childhood, because America needs yet another book about the YankeesJane Leavy281512
At HomeBill Bryson291015.50
LifeKeith Richards301516.19

Kindle savings per book (generous method): $15.63
(conservative method):     3.10

One of us owns a Kindle, the other’s holding out for irrational reasons. Things learned from compiling that list:

-a legitimate author has the best-selling book in the nation. Maybe there’s hope for our species after all.
-dying would help us sell books. (That’s Control Your Cash: Making Money Make Sense, available everywhere.)
-being on Oprah would help us sell books. As to whether being on Oprah is better than dying, we haven’t reached a conclusion.

What we have reached a conclusion on is the economic benefit to owning a Kindle. If you never read books, then yes, owning a Kindle makes no sense. But you’re here, reading a relatively erudite blog, and presumably have an interest in controlling your cash. If you do read books, you need to buy as few as 9 for a Kindle to pay for itself. To say nothing of the convenience of never having to carry more than 9 ounces of reading material. Every book you own, searchable and available wherever you go? In the last few years we discovered that music doesn’t have to be anchored to a particular location. Books don’t either.

This is not a paid advertisement, or even an unpaid one. Heck, if your choice is between spending $139 on a Kindle or on 10.1 copies of Control Your Cash, don’t be stupid. Buy the books, obviously, and distribute 9.1 of them among your friends.

You’ll also save money on shelving. Between us, we’ve never bought a bookshelf that was sturdy enough nor large enough. The Kindle changes your life, so much so that it prompted the Kindle-owning half of Control Your Cash to say she’d pay $10,000 to have her substantial physical library converted to electrons. We’ve even taken to purchasing Kindle books while browsing the aisles in Barnes & Noble, something Barnes & Noble management addressed by making the sales display for their Kindle knockoff the first thing you see when you walk in the store.

(By the way, if that doesn’t harbing* the death of the retail bookstore, nothing will. A place of business that encourages browsing, whose sales staff applies almost zero pressure, and whose merchandise is available elsewhere? Only now, you can patronize its competitors from within its confines? Even music retailers had a business model with a better chance of fighting off obsolescence.)

The standard objections to owning a Kindle are technophobic and nothing more, a popular one being “But I’d miss the feeling of turning the pages.” Do you miss the feeling of dropping a phonograph needle on a record? And hoping it doesn’t scratch and destroy your music? And then turning the record over after 20 minutes? And not being able to leave the room the music’s playing in? Yeah, advancements suck. A century ago, people missed the feeling of hand-cranking their cars. You’ll transcend it.

If you live in the southwestern United States, and you’ve ever left a book outside or in your car during the summer, you know what happens. Glue melts, pages fall out, bindings get destroyed, money gets wasted. Yes, Kindles are monochromatic. So are books, for the most part. We’ll acknowledge that while Dickens and Shakespeare read as well on an e-reader as they do on a printed page, you can’t say the same for Ansel Adams.

You have a $500 iPad? Good for you. Now try using it in the sun. Or reading an entire book on it without being distracted by email, playing Asphalt 5, listening to a baseball game or impoverishing yourself by trading stocks.

Oh, and one more thing:

Control Your Cash:

Making Money Make Sense

Greg McFarlane

Betty Kincaid

10710

*A verb we back-formed from “harbinger”. Admit it: “harbing” is a helpful addition to the language. The harbinger went harbinging.