Happy 235th, baby – Carnival of Wealth edition

"Yo, Button, you got a pen?" "Elbridge, check my waistcoat."

It’s America Day! Real simple, before we get started with this week’s Carnival, 5 reasons why this country kicks so much posterior:

1. Republicanism. Ultimately, we elect people to represent us. Not their party (like in Canada), not themselves (like in Togo.)
2. Federalism. You don’t like what’s happening in your particular corner of the nation? Move somewhere with more agreeable laws. There’s a reason our major political subdivisions are called “states” and not “prefectures” or “provinces”.
3. Guns. The idea of a citizen being able to protect herself against aggression from those physically more imposing than her is reprehensible in most parts of the world.
4. Diversity. Not that human resources racial sensitivity nonsense, either. Real diversity. From a cultural perspective, Maui, Alaska, New England, Central Texas and the Wasatch are as unalike as any 5 European countries. The pigmentation of those places’ residents isn’t as important as their divergent lifestyles. Distinct regions, but all under one flag.
5. A military that puts the Wehrmacht, the Mongol Hordes, and the 18th century British navy to shame. Peace through superior firepower, and no imperial ambitions (unless you consider Guam and the Virgin Islands to be an empire.)

Technological innovation, geologic beauty, attractive people…the list doesn’t stop. Include another in the comments if you wish. In the meantime, onto the Carnival:

Kicking things off this week is our new favorite non-Control Your Cash personal finance blogger, Financial Uproar. As FU himself puts it, “I’m so scared that you guys are going to mock my post that I can’t remember what it’s about. Oh wait, yes I can. It’s about industries that may grow because of a growth in poor people.”

Like a perfect bowling score, a perfect portfolio is an impossible thing to amass. Mike Piper at The Oblivious Investor offers the proof.
(Wait, you mean people bowl perfect games all the time? Never mind.)

Michael Donelly at Another Way tells you how to buy a car without leaving money on the table. As we say here at CYC, always look at the transaction from the other party’s perspective.

The consistently consistent Neal Frankle at Wealth Pilgrim poses a critical question that most of us either can’t or can’t be bothered to answer: What’s in your mutual fund? If you don’t know, you might as well be investing in exacta boxes.

Credit cards are evil!
No, they’re just inert tools. Not unlike guns (see above). Nathan Richardson at Complex Search explains how to use cards to your advantage.

On the other hand, if you’re retarded and have amassed credit card balances, you might regard credit cards as evil after all. Jeff Weber at Smart Balance Transfers explains the best way to close the barn door once the horse has gotten out.

In among the drunken weekends, drunken weekdays, and awkward sexual encounters, should college students save for retirement, too? Joe Plemon at Personal Finance by the Book gives the answer.

Do you make all the money you need? Sure you do. If you don’t, read this wisdom from The Amateur Financier on how to supplement what you make.

Do what you love? Hate what you do? Amass money while sacrificing time? Jonathan at Blogging Your Passion explains why following your passion is the only way to live. And if your passion is TPS reports, so be it.

The 4th of July. Or as they call it in Canada, “Monday”. Big Cajun Man at Canajun Finances celebrates the non-holiday by measuring the value in renovating your house.

If you’re already paying out the nose on a 2-year contract for your iPhone, you need to save elsewhere. Michal at Phone Reviews Plus lists 5 apps that will ostensibly save you money.

David De Souza at Tax Fix offers an infographic this week rather than a blog post, one that illustrates “Personal Income Tax Rates Around the Globe”, and by “globe” he means “Western Europe and 7 other countries.”

Okay, this is odd. We never get submissions from the UK, and this week we have two? Coincidence? Look, chaps, we left the fold 235 years ago and we’re not coming back no matter how much lemon curd and treacle you offer us. Go work your charm on Bermuda or Kenya. In the meantime, consider it an example of American largesse that we’re running Oliver Myer’s post on remortgages vs. home equity lines of credit at How Much Can I Borrow?

Crikey, another one? Sian Meades at Totally Money has a .com domain, but talks about watching Wimbledon on the telly in this post about the advantages and disadvantages of freelance work. She also claims that as a freelancer she misses going to office Christmas parties, which strains credulity. Christmas parties are the primary reason this humble blogger quit the 9-to-5 world to become a freelancer.

Phil at PT Money is more candid in his description of the transition from wage slave to full-time blogger, which recently celebrated its 1st anniversary.

How many 60%-off spa treatments can one woman undergo, anyway? Briana Ford at 20 & Engaged discovered the answer, and shows how daily deal sites like Groupon and Living Social might have outlived their usefulness earlier than anyone expected.

Are you better off than your parents? The unthinking answer is the same one you’re supposed to give to “Are there poisons in our drinking water?” and “Is there an epidemic of child prostitutes in our society?” Darwin’s Money looks at the indisputable facts and reaches a different conclusion.

A: Depends on the relative interest rates.
Q: Is it better to save or repay debt? Consumer Boomer asks the question.

Speaking of rates, do you know what your credit card’s interest rate is? You don’t need to, because the only details you really need to know about your credit card is its limits, its rewards if any, and what day your payment is due. But for completists who care about such things, Colin Robertson at The Truth About Credit Cards explains the difference between nominal rates and APRs.

At Best Dividend Paying Mutual Funds (talk about a blog name that rolls off the tongue), Maxim Kazawy measures dividend mutual funds’ fundamentals and gives us the results. Pay attention to this rather than those ridiculous Charles Schwab charts.

Like dropping money into a toilet every month and only getting to reap the rewards if you die? Then term life insurance is for you! Tom Drake at Canadian Finance Blog explains the details.

(There hasn’t been a single post to goof on so far in this week’s Carnival. This is unprecedented.)

The always happy Jim Yih at Retire Happy Blog is back again, this time with an important post on disability insurance. Do you know if you’re covered? And for how long? These are the questions you must ask before you apply for that promising new job as a bear wrangler.

How do you convert a 401(k) to a Roth IRA? It’s probably either more or less complicated than you think. Tom at Stupid Cents explains how, and why you might want to.

Ever wonder what it would cost to insure the Batmobile? Yeah, us neither. But someone named CI Comp at Car Insurance Comparison asked the same question regarding the General Lee, James Bond’s Aston Martin, and other real-but-fictional cars.

If you thought banking was one industry where it was impossible to eliminate the middleman, think again. Investor Junkie introduces us to Lending Club, a peer-to-peer service that lets you borrow from (and lend to) other people without having to deal with some pasty functionary at your local Wells Fargo branch.

How about some nausea with your long weekend? My Journey to Millions uncovers a horrifying truth. You know those insider trading laws that put criminal masterminds like Martha Stewart in prison (in her case, for adding a mere $50,000 to her substantial fortune)? Well, guess who’s exempt from such laws? We’ll give you a hint: there are 535 of them, and they work in Washington, D.C.

From the “infomercials thinly veiled as blog posts” portion of our program, Madison at My Dollar Plan gives us her favorite rotating cash rewards credit cards.

Part of being a couple is having joint bank accounts, right? Not for Money Cone and spouse. Find out why some people keep their accounts separate and reconcile joint expenses periodically.

Tight Fisted Miser explains how working hard and saving money aren’t enough to make you rich: you need to invest too (again, sorry to ruin the ending for you.) No word on how much money T. Fisted saves by not using the handy comma key on his computer.

You didn’t learn about building wealth in school? Actually, we should phrase that as a declarative sentence: You didn’t learn about building wealth in school. Of course you didn’t, nobody did. But Kevin at Invest it Wisely did the next best thing: reviewed a new book that teaches you what you need to know about investing but never learned.

The relentless Free Money Finance understands how to use credit cards: be a free rider, and take advantage of the cash rewards programs that issuers use to sucker in people whom the issuers know won’t pay their balances in full every month. This week, FMF shows us his favorite rewards credit cards.

Sell when the market is up? Or hold onto your blue chips, no matter what? Boomer & Echo provide some valuable details on when you should reassess and rebalance your portfolio.

Given that our economy is in the toilet (relatively speaking), and has been for several years, Americans have finally realized they need to tighten their belts and begin personal austerity programs.

Yeah, right. We’re leveraging ourselves more than ever and taking on even greater consumer debt. John at Wallet Blog has the depressing story. We’re screwed.

Stop drinking. Eat better. Exercise. Put down the cigarette when switching lanes (not that you should be smoking anyway.) Basic, easily implementable advice that tens of millions of us refuse to heed. Yet we still bitch about health care prices, and can’t seem to detect any cause-and-effect relationship here. Dr. Dean at The Millionaire Nurse Blog explains how a milligram of prevention can be worth several megatons of cure.

That’s it. Thanks for stopping by. Rejoin the Carnival at Personal Dividends next week, and a delightful Independence Day to you.

Long weekend Carnival of Wealth reminder

Yes, it’s a quick week. You can thank a lunatic English king for that. Before you leave for the weekend, get your submissions in for the upcoming Carnival of Wealth. This Sunday. The best personal finance posts we could find, and the occasional one that’s so hopelessly bad we had to share it with you. Check back Sunday, but browse through our archives first.

The world’s most dangerous Carnival (of Wealth)

Some carnies assembled this in an hour, and will take it down and leave town Friday. Wanna ride?

Late spring, and the living is easy. Why do people assume June is summer, when it mostly isn’t? Same deal with December and winter, not that that’s on anyone’s mind right now. Unless you’re in Australia, New Zealand, Uruguay, Rand McNally or one of those other countries that the aliens will never bother visiting when they eventually land.

But we digress. It’s time for another Carnival of Wealth, featuring, once again, real personal finance posts from real personal finance authors. Go!

Batting leadoff this week is the esteemed Mike Piper at The Oblivious Investor, who explains why having an investment portfolio that’s unnecessarily diversified can be more trouble than it’s worth (and offer worse returns.)

Romeo at Building Success: Post College tells us about how he became an entrepreneur. 1200 words later we discover that he sells some product. Maybe a service. Not sure which, or what.

Everyone’s got a story about the fish that got away. Big Cajun Man’s fish was Cisco stock, circa 1990. Ouch. Read about what might have been at Canajun Finances.

(Cisco peaked at 15¢ that year. And hit $77.31 a decade later. Today it trades at around $16, which is still enough to…sorry. That sound you heard was Big Cajun Man kicking himself. Again.)

Neal Frankle at Wealth Pilgrim features a guest post this week about ways you can throw off the shackles of having a boss and start your own business for as little as $5000. Or even $5000 less than that.

If your elected representatives were serious about getting the economy humming, they’d drop an ICBM on the tax code and start again with a flat deduction for everyone, and a flat percentage on the remainder. But if you think the federal code is capricious, Stupid Cents has even more depressing (yet funny) details about some state laws. We won’t spoil it for you, but we’ll just say that the commercial Jack-O-Lantern lobby in New Jersey is a powerful one.

What’s the dumbest financial decision you’ve ever made? We bet it’s not as retarded as Groupon rejecting $6 billion from Google. (Don’t worry, Groupon. Your business model is impossible to replicate.) And hey, would you look at this? Joe at Retire By 40 shows us that a few months after Groupon’s refusal to accept obscene amounts of money, someone decided to create a competitor. You’ll never guess who.

How to torture animals? How to have disgusting personal hygiene? How to resolve disputes violently? How to scream and yell for whatever it is you want, even though you don’t plan to do anything to earn it? This week Larry at Krant Cents asks, “What Can You Learn From Kids?”

Stop. The relentless Erin Pavlina continues to submit posts that have nothing to do with personal finance, or even the year 2011. Our resident off-topic psychic (seriously, that’s how she makes her livin’s) set a new record this week, giving us a post she wrote 534 days ago. That’s less time than it takes an African elephant to gestate, but more time than the American hostages were kept during the Iranian Revolution. Mercifully, ErinPavlina.com didn’t exist back then, which means terrorists couldn’t use recitation of its posts as a torture device.

/wants to make a “North American elephant” joke
/doesn’t
/it’d be so easy, too

In a normal week, Erin Pavlina would win our Unintentional Comedy award. But this week, we give it to a new entrant. It takes a special lack of self-awareness to call your blog “The Financial Literates” and write so illiterately. Look, we understand that you folks are well-meaning, probably intelligent, and that English is (at least) your 2nd language after Hindi. But there’s got to be some United States-based virtual assistant who can edit your posts and turn them into something approximating the Empress’s English.

Honorable mention goes to “Vera Lang” (yeah, like that’s her real name) at CRM Help Desk Software, with a timely post about Super Bowl ads. In CRM Help Desk’s defense, “Vera” wrote the post back in February. And apparently has an extremely slow internet connection. Or maybe she just thought it’d be nice to give us something tangentially related to football while the NFL looks headed for a long labor war.

Come on. Something relevant? Please?

Jim at Bargaineering to the rescue. This week he lists 6 Hobbies That Can Make You Money, or at least cause you to spend less of it, which is essentially the same thing. Jim reveals this week that he brews his own beer, and that the ingredients end up costing him about 40-50¢ a bottle.

A newcomer this week, Maxim Kazawy at the expositorily named Best Dividend Paying Mutual Funds lists “10 best mutual funds that pay dividends”, even though the post lists only 5 and the accompanying chart 4. Proofreading has joined bunting and home brewing on the list of America’s lost arts.

FMF at Free Money Finance is the most prolific personal finance blogger we know. The guy never stops writing, and most of his information is gold. This week, he gives the details of a credit card that gives you a generous 3.1% cash back on every purchase. Of course there’s a catch, but it’s not an insurmountable one.

If you’re an Army Ranger, active duty or retired, you get a pass. Joe Manausa thinks the housing market will bounce back. What he doesn’t think is that it’ll happen overnight.

Darwin of Darwin’s Money bought a pool. And a headache. He tells us 7 Things Your Pool Contractor Won’t Tell You, or 7 things he wished his pool contractor had told him. At least the contractor didn’t try to sign Darwin up for a service contract or “pool insurance”. (Darwin, here’s a way to recoup some of your expenditures: charge your kids’ friends to use the pool.)

Still paying 17¢ more per can of coffee than your neighbors do? Do you and the family not spend enough time around the kitchen table? And when did your scissors last get some use? Crystal at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff has the solution: coupon clipping! Intermediate and graduate-level coupon clippers notwithstanding, these are Top Tips for Beginning Coupon Clippers. Remember, hold the scissors with the points facing down. And walk, don’t run.

If you’re looking for a job, Lahesha Williams at Career Help for Christians suggests that you network, and do so by networking. She recommends talking to family members and friends about whom they might know. And rather than kick them in the teeth once they help you, Lahesha also recommends that you thank them.

Waah, the housing market is depressed! It’s the end of the world! Well, last we checked people still need shelter. And if prices are low, a certain group of people stands to profit. They’re called buyers. You could be one too. My Personal Finance Journey explains how.

Pretty much the same argument, albeit from a slightly different angle but with actionable advice, courtesy of Jennifer Martin at Negotiation Board.

Janet Hutchins of Credit, Eh? wants to know why Sony offers identity theft protection to its American customers, but not Canadian ones. Maybe it’s because you people call napkins “serviettes” and think Nickelback is the greatest band in the history of music.

Or perhaps it’s because you call college dorms “residence at university.” Teacher Man at My University Money debuts this week, with the first part of a rudimentary look at investing in stocks.

Good Lord, another Canadian? You people are insidious. You look like us, dress like us (those of us who wear Roots sweatshirts and crepe-soled shoes, anyway), even almost talk like us. Here’s a thought-provoker from Financial Uproar, who asks what you’d do if a natural disaster destroyed your town’s economy. To his credit, he admits he’d hop the next train. As would we.

Money Cone has a multiple-choice question for you. If an unauthorized money transfer happens from your checking or savings account, what’s your liability?
(A) None. My bank will reimburse me.
(B) If I report it quickly, then I’m not on the hook for anything.
(C) No matter how promptly I report it, I’m liable for up to a certain amount.
If you chose (A), you’re in for a shock.

With the possible exception of Vicky Vette, no one looks happier on his or her website than does Jim Yih at Retire Happy Blog. Our (legitimately) favorite post of the week comes from Jim. This week he examines whether you should make extra contributions to your retirement fund or do something else to maximize cash flow when you get a windfall. (American readers can substitute 401[k] and IRA for Jim’s wacky Canadian acronyms.)

Dr. Dean at Millionaire Nurse Blog is good for a submission every week. We were hoping he was going to offer his recent post, “Women Investors: An Oxymoron?” just to deflect all the hate mail Control Your Cash usually receives after hosting a carnival. Instead he’s given us something almost as provocative, “Gangsta Bank Fees: Don’t Get Robbed!” While we don’t completely agree with his opening argument – it’s not Congress’s job to free people from the burden of reading credit card agreements – his advice is helpful and useful.

Are you proud of yourself, Dave Ramsey? ARE YOU? Your debt snowball has become this generation’s est or Zoroastrianism. Congratulations, you found another devotee in Briana Myricks at 20 & Engaged, who tells us that “There is nothing more stressful than worrying about paying bills.” Apparently Briana has yet to dodge sniper fire on the way to work.

Again, the debt snowball works like this: “Don’t worry about the leukemia that’s ravaging your body. Get that cavity filled first!”

Finally, we wanted Boomer and Echo to scroll down this week’s carnival, second-guess themselves, see the other submissions, then invoke the name of everything holy and lament, “WHY? Why didn’t they take our submission?” Relax, kids. This week’s submission was full of great practical advice and deserves special attention. Here it is in living color (excuse us, “colour”): When to Fire Your Investment Manager.

Thanks again for stopping by, and we’ll see you here July 3. You know, this summer.