Feudalism Is Dead

Some metaphors are subtle. And then there’s this one.

Flashback. One of our rare first-person anecdotes, but one general enough that you can apply it to your own situation.

While studying in college (mathematics, not some useless liberal art), your humble blogger worked at the front desk at a boutique hotel in downtown Toronto. The midnight shift change approached, and in walked the night audit manager. An immigrant from India, he had a background in finance. Or at least enough aptitude to be charged with balancing the day’s books while remaining affable enough to meet with guests.

Somehow, the conversation turned to the topic of the college kid lamenting his own financial situation. Not drowning in credit card debt nor student loans, but making just enough to cover rent, food, and little else. Not getting ahead. I mentioned to the night audit guy – let’s call him Rajiv – that I was puzzled as to how people, especially my young and (I thought) equally impoverished contemporaries, could afford houses and cars. Building wealth was as baffling a concept as interplanetary travel.

Rajiv, who was 40 or so, rattled off a list of his own financial obligations. Kids to feed, family members back home to remit money to, and (thus, according to him) a VISA bill with a balance in the high 4 digits. With the tactlessness of an early 20-something I exclaimed that that must be awful. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “That’s life. How else are you supposed to do it?”

Years later, that remains one of the most depressing conversations about money that any 2 people have ever had. Rajiv was a guy who, at least on the surface, had none of the trappings of self-induced poverty. He wasn’t unemployable, overly self-indulgent, irresponsible or unduly risky with his money. He was educated and hardworking, with a steady if unspectacular white-collar job, a home in the suburbs and a wife and family. Yet he’d resigned himself to having a negative net worth, then dying.

 

Admit it. At least some part of Rajiv’s story resonates with you. Rajiv was a smart guy, at least smart enough to understand causes and effects. Could he have done anything to fix his situation?

Of course. He could have temporarily downsized his living arrangements. Cut more fat out of his budget. Taken a second job, assuming diurnal sleep wasn’t all that important to him. Pleaded with his bosses for more money, which is what most of us would have attempted.

All of which would have made incrementally small differences and still kept him struggling to make up ground.

Or he could have changed his mindset. May Control Your Cash never enter the depths of the category of repetitive and unctuous self-help sites, but here goes. The best way to plan your escape from financial inertia is to think that you’re worthy and capable of doing so.

Many of the details of Rajiv’s case have been lost with the passage of time, but there’s always something you can do to increase your value at work. Tony Robbins (oh God, we’re quoting Tony Robbins. And only one paragraph after claiming we wanted nothing to do with self-help sites) once said that you should make yourself 15 times more valuable to your employer, a recommendation both numerically precise and somewhat ambitious.

The hospitality career eventually ran its course. Your humble blogger later worked in advertising, an “industry” that attracts people disenfranchised by other, more regimented lines of work. That’s a nice way of saying that along with the free spirits and the extremely casual dressers, advertising attracts drug addicts, alcoholics, and the exceedingly lazy who excuse their inconsistent work ethic as tortured brilliance.

 

Opportunity!

Nowhere is it easier to get ahead than in a place where diligence is rare. Your humble blogger managed to complete the work assigned to him and insist on more. Not so much because doing so looked good, but because there were 8 plodding hours in a workday. Filling them up with as many tasks as possible made the time go faster. And yes, it’s hard not to get noticed when you’re picking up your coworkers’ slack and then some.

It helps to be good at and not hate whatever it is you do for a living. It also helps to quantify everything. When contract time comes up, it’s easy to point at the pile of work you’re accomplishing and compare it to the inferior molehills assembled by your coworkers. Pay equity? (We think they mean “equality”.) Heck and no. Just because employees A, B and C have identical job descriptions doesn’t mean they’re entitled to equal paychecks.

Rajiv could have done this; found opportunities to fill his shift with as much high-value use as possible. Hopefully he did. After that, he might have ordered his family to live on rice and pigeon until that credit card debt was wiped out. Again, intense and brief pain beats dull and enduring pain every day of the week.

Once you get out of the red, and not a moment before, you can start leveraging. That means investing. Refinancing. Buying assets and selling liabilities. Taking the necessary steps to remove you from a situation in which a lifetime of debt is inevitable. Because it isn’t.

You don’t need inherent smarts for this, just a little common sense. And God knows you don’t need a college degree. Rather, to start off you need a decent job, the appropriate attitude, and the belief that while you might not get rich you don’t have to be poor. Oh, and $13 or so.

Less chocolate, more income

She doesn’t look quite like this

Last month we started an impromptu feature in which we devote a post to displaying the horrible habits and lifestyle of a particular self-styled personal finance blogger. It’s part warning, part comedy. The inaugural post in the series was titled “Retard of the Week”, but lots of people left comments saying that they found that offensive. We respect that, so we’ve decided to change it.

We’re now calling it Retard of the Month. This month’s honoree is Mom’s Plans, which sounds like and is a mommy blog. But instead of offering pumpkin spice latte recipes and craft projects for her readers’ daughters and effeminate sons, the woman behind it recently chose to host a popular personal finance blog carnival. This reclassifies her as fair game.

The brains behind Mom’s Plans lists (oh God, does she love to list) her debts on her website. Rounding to the nearest thousand, they include $7000 on one credit card, $13,000 on another, $7000 on one student loan, and an incomprehensible $30,000 on her husband’s student loans (plural). However, she is making payments on these loans. At a rate that will take her decades to pay them off, but whatever. More to the point, she’s chosen a time at which she’s drowning in consumer debt to

a) dispense financial advice to whoever wants to hear it, oblivious to any irony;
b) have kids, which aren’t exactly free, and;
c) see how much she can reduce those balances while simultaneously refusing to get a freaking job.

By the way, she took a 16-month leave of absence after her most recent kid was born. You know, because when you add another economic liability to a house full of them, the last thing you want to do is go out and earn money.

This woman’s stated goal is to become a stay-at-home mom. Not an astronaut, not a research scientist, not even a hot dog cart vendor (which would require at least the discipline to get out of the house.) Her professional ambition is to watch Live with Regis & Kelly while wearing her jammies and visiting Amazon to order Halloween costumes for her kids. And it’s not as if she started off doing this. To hear her tell it, being a stay-at-home mom was something she was working towards.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom is not a “goal” for several reasons, the least of which is that a goal implies expending some effort. If you want to be a mom who stays at home, you have to a) spread your legs and b) stay at home. She already accomplished the first half of that, and to do the second half, all you have to do is not do anything.

Think about what society has chosen to value and chosen to dismiss. Incurring consumer debts of $57,000 is considered something worth sharing with one’s readership. Imagine if someone else – say a recent high school graduate with a burgeoning career and a knack for deferred gratification – proudly announced that he’d done the exact opposite of the Mom’s Plans lady and had accumulated $57,000 in assets. Here’s my car, here’s my townhome, here’s my motorcycle, here’s my furniture etc. People would deride him as materialistic. They’d leave comments reminding him of the importance of a balanced life, friends and family, no one likes a serial acquirer, etc.

Building assets is commendable. It’s something to be proud of. It proves that you contributed something of value to the marketplace, and received just rewards for doing so. Building liabilities, as Mom’s Plans is doing, is the exact opposite of this.

The husband has rung up 10 years of student loans while working on a couple of advanced degrees. A), why does it take so long to earn a master’s and a doctorate, and B) why is education the one commodity that doesn’t have to submit to cost-benefit scrutiny?

If you’re going to college for 10 years, even if you somehow get a free ride for the entire decade, your education should still have to justify itself somewhere along the line. You can talk all day long about the intangible, non-monetary benefits of an education, even an advanced one. Doubtless they exist. But they still require real outlays of that pedestrian concern called money. Penn Foster – a school that we’re guessing Mr. Mom’s Plans has never heard of, let alone considered enrolling in – will turn you into a carpenter for $700.

The median salary for an entry-level carpenter in the United States is around $40,000, which means that any Penn Foster grad who financed his tuition can pay the whole thing back within weeks. While learning a legitimate, honorable trade that will be in demand as long as the overeducated need someone to hammer their nails and drive their screws for them.

Let’s not forget the utter narcissism of it. It takes a particularly inconsequential kind of person to post her freaking grocery list online and consider it compelling content.

But it’s inspiring. And it’s sharing. Who are you to judge?

Who are we? Just people who make an effort (there’s that word again) to write worthwhile, purposeful, intelligent and helpful personal finance content, 3000 or so words of it a week.

If knowing that someone else bought a bag of quinoa and some soy milk inspires you, you need new heroes. Here are some people you can find legitimate inspiration from:

Jesus
Kurt Warner
Winston Churchill
John McCain
Stevie Wonder
Tammy Duckworth
John Milton
This guy
.

One more thing. The URL is MomsPlans.com, but the introductory image on the main page reads “Mom’s Plan”. Which is it? Do you have one plan, or several? If you have several, do they include putting in a bid for the URL MomsPlan.com, which appears to be a placeholder for a porn site?

Alright, yet another thing. This passage was too good to pass up. From her September 9 entry:

When September 11, 2001 happened, my husband and I were glued to the television for days.  We were horrified by what we saw unfolding, and I remember those days as particularly dark ones.

You mean because of the terror and the destruction and the wholesale murder of innocents? Yeah, it does seem as if those days were indeed “particularly dark”, once you stop and think about it.

This should be obvious, but if you were horrified by 9/11, that’s not exactly a sentiment that warrants mentioning. We get it. Then again, there are some things we don’t get. Later in the paragraph, she polishes this gold:

In light of the 9/11 anniversary, I almost feel silly posting these links, but they are my light reading that take me away from the heaviness of the events 10 years ago.

Homemade Peanut Butter – Heavenly Homemakers.  Who knew making peanut butter was so easy?  This is on my agenda to try in the next few weeks.

That’s an unedited excerpt. She went straight from 9/11 reflection into sandwich spreads. No cowardly, wanton act of mass human butchery is so vile that a peanut butter recipe can’t make it all better.

**This article was featured in the Carnival of Personal Finance #330:Canadian Thanksgiving Edition**

GUEST POST: Don’t Reach For The Middle

We found someone who wasn’t intimidated by our guest post guidelines. Nelson Smith, who blogs over at Financial Uproar. He’s one of the very few personal finance bloggers who can actually write. And he’s hilarious. And we agree with almost all of what he has to say. If you like this post, then he’d love for you to come check out his blog.

Few people notice how roomy it is on the right side of the curve.

I’m friends with a married couple, even though I’m single. Yeah, it’s a little weird.

This married couple is just like so many others. They’re both gainfully employed, combined they probably make close to $90k per year. They have reasonable housing costs and reasonable vehicle costs too, since they’re both smart enough to drive fully-paid-for used cars. They don’t spend excessive money on wants. They probably go out a little more than they should, but that’s fairly common for young people. Hell, I go out more often than I should, and I’m probably the third cheapest bastard on the whole internet.

On the surface, they don’t seem to be in bad financial shape. There’s no obvious place where they overspend. Yet, like so many others, they struggle to make ends meet every month. Are they morons? Well… yes. But they’ve got numbers on their side.

If this couple complains to me about their finances one more time, I’ll strangle their puppy. They easily make enough to pay for bills and to save for a rainy day. This shouldn’t be that hard. Why are they struggling so much? Here’s a snapshot of some of the excess in their lives:

– an alarm system ($40 per month)
– unlimited long distance ($20 per month)
– movie rental subscriptions ($25 per month)
– overdraft charges ($40 per month)
– new shoes from some website ($40 per month)
– a dog (>$50 per month)

Chances are, you’re practically blinded with outrage right now. What morons! Who gets a perpetual liability (that’s the dog) when they can barely afford to make ends meet? Who needs new shoes every month? They literally go to work and leave the house unlocked, yet pay for an alarm system. There’s hundreds of dollars more that they could cut from their budget tomorrow if they were serious about cutting. It doesn’t take a financial genius to figure out they’re wasting money. Why don’t they just do it?

Because they don’t care.

Most people sit in kind of a financial purgatory. They don’t get themselves in too much trouble, yet they never bother to get ahead. Every month they essentially break even. Because they have no financial sense, they pat themselves on the back for not getting any further in the hole. They slowly make progress on their student loans or credit cards, even eventually paying them off. Once they do, they decide they can now afford another payment, so they buy a new car. They rinse and repeat until sweet, sweet death saves them from their never-ending avalanche of payments.

Okay, not really. But they don’t get wealthy, that’s for sure.

As the writers here at Control Your Cash advocate tirelessly, the key to wealth is quite simple. Buy assets. Sell liabilities. Keep doing these things until you become wealthy. I guarantee if my friends read that golden rule, they’d understand it. Yet they have just about zero hope of ever implementing it. They’re just not PFers.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a PFer is a personal finance geek. PFers check their bank balances more than once a week. PFers constantly look for ways to trim the excess from their budgets. PFers spend more time on their budgets than their sex lives. PFers… well, you get the idea.

Most of the people who’ll ever regularly read this blog are PFers. Some just stumbled here looking for really snarky posts on the lottery or something. Most of us are people trying to move in one direction- toward wealth. And since we hang around each other so much, we often forget just how different we are than most other people.

What I’m going to propose just might shock and appall you, but that’s kind of what I do. After all, my blog is called Financial Uproar. It isn’t called Sunshine Flowers Puppy Personal Finance Hug Hour. I try to tell it like it is, just like the fine folks here at Control Your Cash. And that’s why we’ll be friends forever. Well, that and our friendship bracelets. You did get my friendship bracelet, right Greg? (Ed. note: No.)

What was I talking about again? Right. Here’s what you should do about your friends’ bad financial habits – absolutely nothing. You should give no advice. You should avoid bringing up money topics. They’ll complain about how their financial life sucks, but you should offer no advice past the most simple of concepts. Do not get involved in their finances one bit. And for the love of God, never lend them a dime.

No matter what the accomplishment, the impetus for change has to come from within. If your friends are going to improve their finances, they have to do it. No amount of prodding or helping on your part will get them to change. They have to get to whatever their breaking point is. Your help won’t do squat, as much as you think it might.

Most people will never reach that point. They’ll have a mortgage payment for most of their adult lives. They’ll cash out equity from their house to take vacations and buy cars and pay for their kids’ weddings, because they’re morons. They’ll think they’re doing well because they’ll compare themselves to the masses instead of comparing themselves to the wealthy. 

Chances are that if they’re not already on the path of wealth, they’ll never become any higher than middle-class. No matter how much you want to help, it’ll ultimately fall on deaf ears. You can’t help somebody who doesn’t want to help themselves. Or, more accurately, you can’t help someone who doesn’t think they have a problem.

**This article is featured in the Yakezie Carnival -Newbie Edition**


**This article is featured in the Totally Money Carnival #32-A Flood of Great Articles**