Getting Fired Never Felt So Good, Part I

It’s obscured, but his right middle finger is pointing directly at conventional employment.

 

You want a real-world example of someone who flipped the bird to the idea of being an employee and never looked back? Here’s Part I of a test case for (and testament to) the wisdom of sacrificing a “secure” paycheck for the riches that come with self-determination. The thrilling conclusion will come Friday.

You don’t know him. His name is John McClain, and he’s the youthful 46-year old founder/owner of Dog & Pony Studios in Las Vegas. They do sound design for movies, TV shows, commercials etc. But that’s secondary to what the business has been able to do for its owner. Not only does has it created gainful employment for multiple people, it’s allowed John a lifestyle that includes a second home and exotic vacations.

(Wait, that sounds overly grandiose. The vacation home is a modest cabin in small-town Utah, not a private Caribbean island. And Laos is cheaper to visit than you think.)

He didn’t start the business in his parents’ basement, recording his friends’ conversations on 8-track as a precocious preteen and growing the business over decades into what it is today. Far from it. Instead, he…well, let’s let him tell the story.

John worked for an East Coast production studio, which we’ll call “Omega Center”. In 1996, Omega looked to expand to the West Coast, and put John in charge of those operations. The job involved him managing the studio, producing commercials and other pieces, creating original music, hiring and training employees, et al. He’d signed a contract, and, as John put it,

I made the classic employee mistake of not having an attorney look over my “contract”.  Because my employer would never do anything to screw me, right?

Of course, John didn’t know this (or even think of it) at the time. Most employees wouldn’t. I get paid every 2 weeks, the checks don’t bounce, why would I worry about my contract? Besides, those things are boilerplate, aren’t they?

When Omega offered me the job, I also had a great offer on the table in Detroit, where I was living at the time. I figured I’d throw caution to the wind and asked for $100,000 a year. They looked at me like I was from Mars but I kept a straight face and offered some story about moving my wife, leaving home, etc. They offered $45,000 + 7% of gross earnings.

Stop. John insisted on a percentage of gross rather than of net. He knew that gross revenue is easy to trace, and that’d he be the one largely responsible for maximizing it. Dollars in are straightforward. Not so for net revenue, which Omega’s accountants could easily lower to a level they found palatable. (“You bought lunch for the clients? Sorry, that counts as a cost of goods sold. We’re deducting it.”)

All I had to do was get the studio’s earnings up around $725,000 and I’d be earning about what I’d asked for. Before I started, West Coast operations grossed $150,000 and were performed via phone and FedEx. With a physical presence, in 5 years I’d raised gross revenues to $1.2 million and hired 2 producers (in addition to myself.)

Did my salary change? Yes. Did it go up? No. The owner never thought I’d do so well, and was angry that he had to pay me 7% of $1.2 million. Never mind that he was earning 93% of an amount he never thought he’d earn. He cut my salary and I began preparing an exit strategy.

Still, John was in a place that most employees would envy. He was “management”, he had 4 people under him (including an office manager), and the people he had to report to were 2500 miles away. It was his to succeed or fail with. Sounds liberating, right?

It should have been, but Omega suffered from myopia; you can’t do it that way, because we’ve never done it that way before. They micromanaged my office and told me I was doing it all wrong. By the way, the home office was retaining only 28% of its clients from one year to the next. Here on the West Coast, we were holding onto 68%.

It’s awesome that he’s petty and/or detailed enough to remember that years later. John was putting in 50 hours a week, and one day reached the point of no return that so many employees do.

I started telling myself the job wasn’t that bad.

Everyone who’s ever done that, raise your hand. Yup, you in the back, too. Higher, where we can see it.

John came to work one morning in 2003, and was greeted by the owner sitting at his (John’s) desk. Owners don’t fly across the country without a reason. And in this case, a severance check.

Omega paid John what the contract stipulated, but reminded him that the contract forbade him from plying his trade. John hired a lawyer to look it over, but

The owner had written it himself. My lawyer literally laughed out loud when she read it.

John had (or had had) a boss who knew nothing about contract law, but other firees aren’t so lucky. If you do insist on working for someone else, never accept a contract that includes terms that can affect you even after they fire you. Better to go hungry until you find an employer who won’t force you to stay unemployed months or years down the road.

So here’s John. Late 30s, wife, mortgage, cats, dogs, pink slip. Being rational, he took his new employment status in stride:

I freaked. Then I let all my friends and clients know what had happened. Then those same friends and clients started calling me directly to book me for their jobs.

He had enough work to see him through in the short term, and fortunately his wife was continuing to make good money. But as John (and not many other people) is frank enough to admit,

She and I were always spenders, not savers. One salary wouldn’t cut it at the time. We were super tight for dollars and had no savings to speak of.

Sometimes you wonder if the boss who’s holding the scimitar over your head knows that you haven’t saved anything. Every person who dispenses financial counsel loves to advocate creating an “emergency fund”, but hardly anyone actually does it.

The standard move at this point is, of course, to apply for jobs at other companies in the industry. That’s just what you do. But like a dog who’s been abused, John was wary. It’s hard to put 100% into your search while thinking, “The same thing might happen again. I need to go it alone.”

I received an offer from each of my prior competitors but I didn’t want to go back to another j-o-b.  My former employer had taught me how to not run a business, and I was determined to put those lessons to the test. 

You already know how the story turns out, especially if you clicked on John’s company’s link, but it didn’t go down the way you think. Come back Friday for Part II.

**This article is featured in the Baby Boomers Carnival: One Hundred Fourteenth Edition**

Easy money is harder than it looks

Every deputy assistant vice president has a tell

 

If you’re bad at something, better to find out early than late. Especially if not doing so comes with a price.

At Control Your Cash, it’s not exactly news that we think gambling is for idiots. Technically, we’d argue that poker isn’t gambling in the sense that keno and roulette are. Skill obviously factors into poker, at some level.

Therefore it stands to reason that the most successful poker players are the ones who learned it from an early age and applied themselves to their craft, right? Just like athletes?

Well, there’s one big difference. Serena Williams spent her childhood banging a ball against a wall (or sparring with the ready-made opponent one bed over), but she only paid for her lessons in sweat and bruises. It didn’t cost her anything out of pocket.

Improving at poker, on the other hand, costs money.

Yours truly moved to Las Vegas as an indestructible 20-something, armed with a mathematics degree from a fairly demanding college and convinced that he was going to hit every poker room on the Strip and use his logical mind to leave a gaggle of impoverished opponents in his wake. Sophisticated me would start off methodically, conquer the visitors and send them packing, move up to the locals, vanquish them, build my confidence and my winnings, then eventually go pro and make millions just for playing a game.

(NOTE: This is not a bad beat story we’re making you sit through, we swear. Nor will we tell you about the fish that got away, nor how our fantasy football team got screwed.)

On slow weekday afternoons, the casinos offer “free” lessons. The instruction is free, the stakes are real. I sat down at a learning table that held a dozen rube tourists who didn’t know a railbird from a kitty. The puzzlement in their eyes was all the incentive I needed. When one of them asked the dealer whether a full house beats a straight, I started salivating. That I knew barely knew the rules myself and didn’t know strategy at all was a non-issue.

I bought in for $20 and drew two low, unsuited cards. The flop* came up and I wagered $5, even though I knew I had close to the weakest hand at the table. There’s no point in sitting in a gambling hall and not gambling – I could have done that at home – so I gambled.

The dealer dealt the fourth community card. The card didn’t help my chances, but I placed a relatively gargantuan $10 bet. I went all-in with my remaining money on the fifth and final community card.

I held a pair of sevens. The best possible hand anyone could have held was a flush, and if anyone did, he wasn’t betting heavily enough for someone who had only a small chance of losing.

No one folded, including the two players who held worse hands than me. Our winner held a pair of pocket 10s. Most of the money she won in that pot was originally mine. She looked confused as the dealer pushed the chips toward her. “Really? I can take these? And exchange them for cash if I want? Or walk out of the casino with them and security won’t chase me? You sure?”

I wanted to stand up and scream at my fellow players. “Do any of you understand the concept of folding? Here’s how it works: you look at your cards and know you’re not going to win the hand, so you cut your losses before being obligated to wager more. Oh, and there’s something called ‘bluffing’, too. That’s when someone with a poor hand – me – bets so much that you assume he must have a great hand. Which I was doing. And none of you bought my bluff! Why the hell not? You people can’t possibly be so smart as to know that I was bluffing, given that you were all too dumb to fold. God, you’re exasperating!”

The dealer reminded me that if I wanted to be in on this next hand, I needed to cough up some more. Which would have been impossible. I walked out of the poker room dazed, trying to recalculate my steps. Could I have won that hand? No, because my idiot opponents wouldn’t have folded. Is every hand going to be like this? I always have to hold the best cards to win? Well, I’m not going to hold the best cards more often than anyone else will, so to win I’ll have to rely on my opponents’ psyches. But they don’t have psyches, they’re robots. And they weren’t even programmed to make intelligent decisions, just to bet and bet until the game ends. This is retarded.

I was right about that. It was.

Most players play to the death. Not out of bravado, but because they don’t know any better. Or they assume everyone else will, which means they have no choice but to mimic the crowd if they ever want to win a pot. To get past players like that and advance to the level where people bring math skills and psychoanalysis to the table, you have to be lucky enough to win more than chance would dictate. And that’s a price of entry that most of us shouldn’t be willing to pay.

Leave professional poker to the guys you see on ESPN2 late at night – the ones with the funny nicknames, horrible wardrobes, disjointed personalities and grotesque physiques. If you want camaraderie coupled with a chance to win money, invite your friends over and keep it amateur. In the long run, you’ll neither profit nor lose. And you won’t have to pay a cut to the house.

*Leaving much out, this refers to the first three of five cards the dealer deals face up in the middle of the table. Each player also receives two cards of his own, and creates the best possible five-card hand out of the communal five cards plus his own personal two cards.

**This article is featured is the Totally Money Blog Carnival #16-Easter Edition**

Mailbag!

Actually, it's a European carry-all. Not gay in the least

Dear Control Your Cash:

Hi, my name is Kari (with a “k”!) J I’m a stay-at-home mom (most important job in the world LOL!) and part-time volunteer with 3 sometimes bratty kids (LOL!) I’ve been paying off my student loans for my sociology degree for 4 years now, and they’re down to $5,347 (at 6.8%). I’ve also got $13,349 in credit card balances, at 14.29% after we did a balance transfer from a 19.9% card (pretty smart, huh?) We also owe $18,348 on our car, which we bought with 0% financing over 60 months.  Anyhow, my husband and I were watching Dave Ramsey and he said we should pay off our smallest debt first, then the next biggest one, and so on. He calls this the debt snowball. He seems so nice and helpful on TV, what do you think?

Sincerely,

Kari in Corpus Christi

Dear Kari:

Thanks for the clarification on how to spell your name, in case we get the exact same email from someone who spells it with a “c”.

I’m sure Dave Ramsey is pleasant and forthright. However, the man’s mathematical prowess is shaky at best. One thing we preach here ad nauseam is look at each transaction from the other party’s (or parties’) perspective. Let’s say all those loans were with the same lender. If that lender were seeking advice from us, it’d read something like this:

Dear Control Your Cash:

I’ve got an open-ended $5,347 investment that pays 6.8%, a $13,349 one that pays 14.29% indefinitely, and an $18,348 one that’s guaranteed to tread water for the next 5 years. Which one should I get rid of?

Sincerely,

Confused Wealthy Person

Dear Confused Wealthy Person:

How much more obvious could the answer be? Sell the $18,348 investment, hold onto the $5,347 one to the extent that you can, but above everything else, move heaven and earth to preserve the cash cow that is the $13,349 investment. That’s your ticket to riches.

(End of meta-question)

That answer took less than a second to formulate.

Which means that from the original perspective of someone trying to eliminate debt, the investments (debts) should obviously go in the reverse order. Do everything in your power to negate the $13,349 debt, then worry about the $5,347 one, and don’t even think about the $18,348 one while the clock ticks.

Think about what the credit card balances are costing you (i.e. earning for the lender) each month, versus how much the student loans are earning for their lender, versus the $0 in interest that Ford Credit or GMAC or whatever is getting for the car loan. This is so obvious it hardly counts as an observation, but there you are. Dave Ramsey’s advice is counterintuitive, bad, and rooted more deeply in psychology than in finance.

———————————

Dear Control Your Cash:

My friends and I are traveling to Las Vegas next weekend. I bought my ticket well in advance on Southwest ($119 round trip) and got the hotel room on Orbitz (Caesars Palace, $59/night, double occupancy.) Because I’m saving so much money before even getting there, I decided to up my daily gambling allowance from $120 to $200. The moment I hit $200 each day, I’ll quit and hang out by the pool. Thoughts?

Sincerely,

Brandon in Burbank

Dear Brandon:

So you’re committing to lose money? Awesome! Here’s an equivalent scenario:

“My friends and I are going to Camden, New Jersey next week. We’re from Detroit, so as far as we’re concerned Camden is a vacation spot. Anyhow, I plan to walk through the worst parts of town with $20 bills hanging out of my pockets, asking people for directions and reminding them that I’m not from around here while keeping my back turned as much as possible. As soon as I get mugged for a total of $200 each day, I’ll stick to major streets during daylight hours, start putting my cash in my wallet (or better yet, depositing it in an ATM) and keep the wallet in my front pocket. Thoughts?”

The relentlessly sanctimonious anti-tobacco lobby has spent hundreds of millions of dollars convincing people that it’s idiotic and suicidal to smoke, yet still haven’t gotten through to 23% or so of American adults. No anti-gambling lobby is quite as vocal, even though gambling is as moronic as smoking (although the former won’t turn your lungs black.)

A gambling “budget” makes zero sense, as long as you’re competing against a house that can’t possibly lose in the long term. The slot machines will beat you. The roulette wheels will do it almost as quickly. As will the blackjack tables, only they offer some false sense of camaraderie while bleeding you dry.

Your savings account will return at least 100% of the money you deposit into it. Your gambling “budget” will not.

Nothing will convince people of this, even their own losses, so it’s all a non-gambler can do to remind them of the foolishness of putting up your money against someone who holds a permanent advantage. If you’re that addicted to trying to defy the laws of probability, then play fantasy football or something. Or make straight-up sports or poker wagers with your friends, where no one takes a cut and in the long run, everyone’s winnings (and losses) hover around zero.

P.S.: As Nevada residents who enjoy not having to pay state income tax, we encourage you to ignore all the above advice given to Brandon in Burbank. Come to Vegas, or Laughlin, or Winnemucca, and spend as much as you possibly can. Split that pair of 10s at the blackjack table: you could win twice as much! Don’t just bet on football, play the parlay cards! You could win 1000 times your bet! And always take 23 red in roulette: a guaranteed winner.