With apologies to Gilbert, Sullivan, and anyone else who’s ever done a parody of this fruity song

I am the very model of a modern budding millionaire

I’d rather look for opportunities than wallow in despair

I’ve never fallen victim to some technical analysis

Nor have I failed to execute, resulting in paralysis

My wealth is less connected to my natural abilities

Than to buying assets and to selling liabilities

I put in place a mechanism sure to make my net worth large

Instead of cursing God, my job, the darkness and the man in charge

I don’t obsess with shaving pennies into fragments minuscule

Nor spending hours clipping coupons like that Simple Dollar fool

Franklin said that “Time is money”, something few folks know nor care

I am the very model of a modern budding billionaire

Before I chose a college, I determined where I’d be years hence:

Implementing my degree, or serving food to dames and gents?

Instead I learned a trade and started earning from an early age

While others still have student loans, and barely make a living wage

“Education isn’t optional, it’s vital in the marketplace.”

Tell that to all the 30-somethings renting modest living space.

You studied English, incurred debt, made failure inescapable

Yet thought you’re smart! The irony is stark. You’re quite incapable.

I wasn’t always building wealth. My VISA had a balance thence

Of $13,700.47.

I forwent spending, paid it off, and only then came up for air

I am the very model of a modern budding billionaire

I got approved to buy a house, a modest little bungalow

Found renters to pay all the bills, enriching me and my cash flow

Kept them living in it, bought a 2^nd since the price was low

And did it through an LLC, thus lowering the tax I owe.

I’d rather spend my money on investments that’ll let it grow

Than squander on extravagances bought and financed just for show

You drive a Benz with diamond rims? You must be rich, or want it so

I’ll ask the guy who sold it to you. After all, I think he’d know.

Leave money on the table? That’s the quickest way to poverty.

(It’s right there on p. 70, the final words in Chapter III.)

I borrow to invest, and not to finance castles in the air

I am the very model of a modern budding billionaire.