If our website was a human, it'd look like this

Or this.

It’s finally up, largely thanks to the prettier half of the Control Your Cash team. Remember that hideous amalgamation of ugly coding and open tags that we used to call a website?  Yeah, neither do we. Things we learned while putting this current site together:

-Joomla! is slow and counterintuitive, as least for us.
-Everyone hates their host, us included.
-Only hire a company named Graphic Intrigue if you want missed deadlines, forgetful salespeople, zero artistic vision and the kind of socially stilted programmers who fit the stereotype. Also, because our site’s called Control Your Cash, we’re not going to tell you how much money we flushed down that particular urinal.

But enough. The new site’s up and you can actually take it home to Mom and not be embarrassed. To celebrate, we’re giving away the figurative store. Specifically, the following stuff:

A $100 American Express gift card, from Ask Mr Credit Card.

A $75 Amazon gift card, courtesy of Jeff at Deliver Away Debt.

A copy of TurboTax Premier – the same program Len Penzo uses when paying his annual tribute to Uncle Sam.

A copy of TurboTax Deluxe from Jeremy at Gen X Finance.

A $25 Amazon gift card from Kevin at Invest It Wisely. (Note: while Kevin and his site are Canadian – you can tell by his repeated use of the phrase “soya sauce” – the gift card is denominated in U.S. dollars.)

$25 PayPal cash from Max at Maximizing Money. That’s right, he’s just going to give you (somebody) money.

A $15 Amazon gift card from Ray at Squirrelers.

A copy of Money Academy for Couples, the e-book by Neal Frankle of Wealth Pilgrim.

Another copy of Money Academy for Couples.

Would you believe a 3rd copy of Money Academy for Couples? You should. This is no ordinary giveaway.

And of course, autographed copies of Control Your Cash. (Or if you prefer, Kindle copies that can’t be autographed but are infinitely more convenient.)

Here’s how to win:

1 point – “Like” us on Facebook
2 points – Follow us on Twitter
5 points – Tweet about “ControlYourCash.com”
6 points – Comment on our blog, on a post dated after January 2011. “YOu’re blog is awsome” is not a comment.
7 points – Subscribe to our RSS feed. Yes, you get 7 points for performing the demanding task of clicking on that link.
20 points – Review our book at Amazon or BN.com. A real review, not one line about how awesome the book is. You don’t even have to say the book is awesome. Say it stinks if you want, just write a review that proves that you read it.
500 points – Book us for a signing at your bookstore (chain, independent, whatever)
1000 points – Book either of us for at least 2 segments on your radio show. A real radio show, not you on the internet with a tin can and zero listeners.
2000 points – Same thing for TV.
5000 points – Book either of us to speak to your group of at least 20. (We’re serious. See here.)
150,000 points – Hire a skywriter to spell ControlYourCash.com over a major American city.

Every point is an entry in our drawing; we’ll amass the totals March 19. Check back often: we might be giving away more stuff, conditional on the generosity of our fellow bloggers. And thanks again for making us the fastest-growing site in personal finance (a wholly unverifiable claim.)