You're going to need one of these

Why can’t you be like other sites?

It’s the one complaint about Control Your Cash that we receive most often: where are the first-person stories about your struggles with income and debt?

1) There are several thousand other blogs that already memorized that riff and can play it by heart. We wouldn’t be bringing anything original to the party. Besides, this isn’t a place for self-indulgence. We don’t give a damn about the details of your finances*, and don’t expect you to care about ours. Or anyone else’s but your own.

We used to think that other people’s Facebook photos were the Ultima Thule of human boredom. But they’re captivating compared to hearing a personal finance blogger yammer about how he’ll now pay off his student loans 3 nanoseconds faster thanks to this handy new money-saving method he discovered for making your own duct tape. Also, the Sunday paper is full of coupons for your next grocery shopping trip.

2) No struggles to speak of.

Oh, does that sound condescending? Then would you feel inadequate if Danica Patrick told you she has no trouble negotiating traffic at 160 mph? How about if the chick from Evanescence said she could easily hit notes in the whistle register?

We’ve spent our adulthoods doing the prudent, common sense thing and seeing where it leads. So far, it’s working. At least more so than buying pet clothing and paying for tax refund anticipation loans might have.

You want commiseration? Start drinking or become a sex addict. Meetings in the church basement, Tuesdays at noon. No crosstalk, please.

Good. Now that we’ve got the children out of the room, join us for something worthwhile. Two things we try to do here:

-explain financial concepts that people presumably want to know about, or should, but don’t.
-show how not being financially idiotic can pay tangible rewards. And occasionally, show instances where you might think you’re doing the smart thing but aren’t.

If this sounds dictatorial, it isn’t. No more than your 3^rd grade teacher was when she explained how multiplication works. Look, there’s no secret to gaining wealth. The mantra, again:

Buy assets, sell liabilities. Do this often enough, measure the results, and if you do nothing else you’ll get rich in spite of yourself.

Financial self-sufficiency is nowhere near as simple as “spend less than you earn”, but it’s not as complex as you think, either. That wedding you’ve been fantasizing about since you were a little girl? Unless it involves only you, the groom, a justice of the peace and a visit to IHOP afterwards, it’s a liability. Sell (i.e. don’t buy) it. The matching funds your employer offers for your 401(k), which will give you more tax-free income when you retire in exchange for a few seconds of incremental effort today? That’s an asset. Buy it.

Almost everything in your financial life fits into one category or the other – if not individually, then cumulatively. The bachelor’s degree in women’s studies is a liability. The interest-bearing student loan to pay for it is a meta-liability, and an obscene waste of money. The used DSLR camera that you can pick up from a highly rated eBay seller and is indistinguishable from a new one that’s twice as expensive? That might not be an asset by our definition, but the difference in their prices is. Buy the camera, assuming you’ll use it.

If you want patently obvious advice and feel-good pabulum, Google “personal finance blog” and you’ll find it. If you want to be challenged and inspired, stay here. Read the archives. And let us teach you how as much as you’re willing to digest about how money works (and how it doesn’t.)

*Dang. That should have been the subtitle for the book.

**This post is featured in the Carnival of Wealth #5**