We’re Not Your G.D. Friends

"I wish I'd spent more time at strategy meetings."

“I wish I’d spent more time at strategy meetings.”

 

And we never will be.

This site isn’t “a place where you can share your thoughts freely on all things personal finance related,” or “a daily recap of our struggle with debt,” or any of that crap. If that’s what you’re looking for, God knows it’s out there and not difficult to find. Commiserate somewhere else. If you’re not here to get rich, get lost.

Because for our purposes, and hopefully for yours, building wealth is all that matters. We’ll even make the argument that building wealth is the highest possible worldly endeavor. The more you make, then the more highly the marketplace of consumers has valued the goods and services you’ve chosen to create. Though that money can buy you stuff, more importantly (to quote one sharp thinker) it can buy you the most precious commodity there is: time. All the other activities that people prioritize – reproducing, being kind to animals, taking a bus to Washington so you can stand outside the Supreme Court with a placard telling passersby your opinion on homosexual marriage – is swell once you’ve got your financial house in order. Until then, Matthew 7:3-5. Take care of your own business first.

Grandiose ideas (and even ordinary ideas) undertaken while suffering from negative net worth almost never materialize.

Sure, J.K. Rowling wrote her first book as a single welfare mother. Good for her. Thousands upon thousands of other aspiring writers wrote their first (and only) manuscripts while on welfare, and never came close to selling them. Or they gave up halfway through Chapter 2. Or they never got beyond the outline stage. But regardless of where those failures ended up, what does it prove to cite the one example who beat historically long odds? What moron makes the argument “That person succeeded as a 100-million-to-1 shot, so I can too”? Isn’t it infinitely better to undertake a path where success is likely, or at least not exceedingly unlikely?

Most personal finance sites love to share first-person stories. Here are some pictures of my new wedding dress and a sidebar about how much it cost me.

I had a ton of consumer debt at the start of the month, but now I have 1998 pounds of consumer debt. I think I’m doing an awesome job, and will punctuate that assessment with an exclamation point!

Now it’s time for 800 words on how I bought discount school supplies for my kids. Oh, and you should look at price tags before you buy things. In my opinion, the smaller the number, the better it is for you.

These people aren’t true personal finance bloggers. They’re merely diarists, interested more in the catharsis of getting their small thoughts down in a semi-permanent form than in writing anything interesting, entertaining, or beneficial. Besides, Samuel Pepys already perfected that literary form 350 years ago.

They’re all idiots, every one of them. (We listed most of the exceptions here. Late addenda: 101 Centavos and Hull Financial Planning. Oh, and Reach Financial Independence.) The grad student with $90,000 in tuition loans but a $1,000 “emergency fund.” The aspiring filmmaker who moves his family around the globe from rental home to rental home, cranking out kids he can’t afford while telling you that selling your excess stuff on eBay is the surest path to riches, and who then finally gives up and hands the blog over to someone in even worse financial shape. The pseudonymous Credit Suisse trader, since fired, who brags about living the baller lifestyle while downsizing his home and trying to convince others that there’s no such thing as a bad financial decision if your heart tells you so.

What makes us different? We know what we’re talking about. We already made the (minimal and non-catastrophic) mistakes, saving you the trouble of repeating them. Unless you want to repeat them, in which case knock yourself out. We’ve also enjoyed the successes, which we experienced largely because we knew how to capitalize on them when we saw them a-coming.

That’s also an indirect explanation of why we don’t take comments. First, 99% of commenters (not just on personal finance sites, but on the internet in toto) have nothing to say. Second, we’re not here to facilitate dialogue. It’s a monologue, and you’re the listeners. For the most part, anything posted as a response in a publicly viewable forum isn’t worth repeating. If you want to talk to us, send us an email or a tweet.

Why do we insist on forbidding comments, which runs counter to almost every other site in the universe? For an answer, take an important subject we have little proficiency in: for instance, medicine. Who are we to go to the WebMD entry on diabetes mellitus and offer our subjective opinions on insulin therapy and high-fiber diets? The licensed professionals who wrote the article aren’t interested, and the WebMD readers shouldn’t be, either. Or we could just write “Awesome post!” in a flawless impersonation of any of the awful personal finance bloggers we referenced above, who leave comments only to microscopically improve their own sites’ Google PageRank.

Look. You want to get rich but have no idea where to start? Here’s a list of criteria neither necessary nor sufficient to build wealth:

  • A college education
  • Legacy money
  • Upward corporate mobility
  • The ability to be the last one out of the office every day and the first one in the next morning.

Here’s what will come in handy. Best of all, these are available to anyone. Most of them are practically your birthright:

  • Secondary, passive sources of income
  • Patience (when it’s warranted)
  • Conviction (when patience isn’t warranted)
  • The ability to avoid doing moronic things (for an illustration of these, enter “retard” in the search box at the top right of the page)
  • Boldness. Not rashness, but rather the confidence to say “Lots of other people are rich. I can do this, even if it means discarding ingrained societal notions of getting a job I’m going to hate and working my way up a ladder I’d just as soon not be on.” In other words, the inverse mindset to obsessing over “What if I lose everything?”

And finally

  • The purchase of assets
  • The sale of liabilities.

Exercise all those and, we’ll say it again, you’ll get rich in spite of yourself.

Too vague? Here are some specific steps. Eliminate all your consumer debt as quickly as possible, without regard for any short-term pain you’ll incur. Put money aside for growth, not for contingencies. Contribute the maximum to your 401(k). Get your employer to match it. Get as little withheld from your checks as possible, so that you can write the IRS a check on April 15 instead of the other way around. (If you don’t know why you want to do that, you really need to read our book.) Get out of that rental you’re living in and get a fixed-rate mortgage. Don’t just buy low and sell high, do so when your feelings are telling you otherwise. Quit drinking. Start your own business. Organize it as a limited liability company. (Again, if you don’t know how to do this, read our book.) Keep and organize your receipts. Buy a 2nd home and rent it out to someone who’s never going to read this paragraph. Don’t waste time on piddly nonsense like selling your DVDs on Craig’s List for a functional wage of 77¢ an hour. Value your time by concentrating on its most lucrative uses – half a day researching car prices can save you thousands before you negotiate. Get a price out of the other party first. Figure out what they’re after and how much they stand to profit vs. how much you do. Walk away if you don’t like a deal. Ignore emotion at every turn.

None of those are particularly hard, except for the house-buying one. It’s simply doing this stuff, instead of wallowing in doubt and partaking in the fellowship of the damned, that scares most people off.

And thank God for that, because it makes the path a whole lot less crowded for the rest of us.

The Unglamorous Secret to Riches

A year ago, this woman was driving a cab and $40,000 in debt. Then she read our book. Now she sleeps on a bed of emeralds.

A special hello to viewers of The Balancing Act, and thanks for joining us here at Control Your Cash. Where several times a week, we explain how to build legitimate, lasting wealth for the long run – without driving yourself crazy in the short.

If you don’t know the first thing about where to spend, how to invest, how to negotiate (probably the most valuable skill you can learn in this life) or even where to begin, browse the archives. (Warning: it’s pretty comprehensive. You could spend days in there.)

You just described me perfectly: I have no idea where to begin. I know how to make deposits in a savings account, and write checks, but beyond that I’m mystified. Help.

Then start by buying our book, Control Your Cash: Making Money Make Sense. For at little as $7 on Amazon. The book starts off assuming you know nothing about personal finance, and by the time you get to the end, you’ll be able to:

-do your taxes without leaving thousands of dollars on the table
-buy a house or a car confident that you got the best possible deal
-know when it’s time to bail out of the market, and when it’s time to jump in
-have your credit cards work for you, instead of the bank that issued them.

Financial peace of mind. Believe it, it’s easier to have than you imagined.

One more, very important thing: we’re also the proud authors of the brand new e-book, The Unglamorous Secret to Riches. (Seriously, brand new as in “just released this month.”) Want to know how to create permanent and lasting wealth without relying on your job, your investment adviser, or your friendly neighborhood lottery ticket salesman? The Unglamorous Secret to Riches tells you how in simple, direct terms. (And don’t worry. It doesn’t require taking on a second job, selling all your possessions, nor trading in your car for a bus pass.)

And as a special bonus, for the next 24 hours only we’re making The Unglamorous Secret to Riches available exclusively to Lifetime viewers for just $3.50. Yes, the mythical price of a latte. (Only by spending that $3.50 here, it could pay for itself thousands of times over.)

(Addendum: That black $3.50 is the link to the e-book.)

Thanks again for coming by, and we hope to see you around regularly. (We’ll even make it easy for you: you can subscribe to our RSS feed just by clicking here.)

Also, don’t forget to follow us for regular daily tips on Twitter, and join our ever-growing army of friends at Facebook. And feel free to drop us a line anytime at Betty@ControlYourCash.com or Greg@ControlYourCash.com.

 

The umpteenth weekly Carnival of Wealth

UPDATE: We fixed the comments. Say whatever you want. The filthier the better.

Pass the kettle corn and shake hands with the bearded lady, as the Carnival stops by Control Your Cash for one glorious week. If you’re unfamiliar with how this works, it means we’re hosting posts about wealth and how to accumulate it, written by our fellow personal finance bloggers. Just like a real carnival, only with h1 tags and a comment box.

Not that kind of carnival

Thanks to ringmaster Arohan of Personal Dividends for letting us host. Let’s get started.

In Equatorial Guinea, where life expectancy is 38, people don’t have to worry about which assisted-living facility they’re going to dump their grandparents off in. Unfortunately, we First-Worlders don’t have that luxury. If you’ve already placed a bottle of pills and a handgun next to your doddering great-aunt and she still hasn’t gotten the hint, Consumer Boomer explains how much a spot in an old-folks’ home can set you back.

If you don’t have a Capital One credit card yet, you’re just not trying. America’s most ubiquitous issuer is the subject of this post by Tim Chen at Nerd Wallet, who tells you which of Capital One’s myriad cards to get and why.

Paying cash for a hotel room? What the hell is wrong with you? The mysterious Silicon Valley Blogger is pimping her own favorite credit cards, ones that reward you with hospitality just for spending money.

Meanwhile, Mr. Cents at Personal Cents gives his modern take on a ancient but often disregarded axiom: that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

It just wouldn’t be a carnival without Free From Broke making an appearance. As FFB puts it, “as bloggers, we work hard providing content to our readers. Then we get hit with taxes! Ouch. See the tax deductions you may be eligible to take to lower your taxable income.”

Carrying big wads of cash everywhere might be impractical and risky, but sometimes it seems to beat the alternative. Credit Card Guru at Credit Card Blog gives the lowdown on credit card inquiries and how long they can stay on your report.

Tip O’Neill said “all politics is local.” Whether that’s true or not, it is certain that regardless of what’s happening across the globe, all economics is personal. From Susan Howe at Budget Life, the stories of people who never gave up in the toughest financial times of their lives.

Is your county broke? How about your state? How about your country? (Haw!) Madison DuPaix, which sounds an awful lot like a stage name, blogs at My Dollar Plan. With fiscal crises looming everywhere, she’s found some interesting ways elected officials and government functionaries are trying to stretch their taxpayer revenue.

Maggie Larche at Free Market Money argues what we’ve been saying for years – if you can eliminate debt that’s costing you 17%, that’s better than any investment that earns 16%.

SSgt Jeff Rose (ret.) quit college to serve 9 years in the Army National Guard (in the infantry, no less), went to Iraq, returned to earn his degree, became a Certified Financial Planner, started his own firm, founded Good Financial Cents (and Soldier of Finance) and raised a couple of kids. What have you done with your life? Here he shows you how to create a budget for 2011.

Roth IRA or traditional? Odysseas at Wallet Blog has your answer.

Ramsay at MoneyedUP thinks that if you’re going to hop on the gold train, you should have done so several stops ago. Instead he favors a different, more viscous commodity.

You have no idea how tax brackets and withholding work, do you? Fortunately, Mike Piper at Oblivious Investor does. And he knows how to explain it. He literally wrote the book on it (see his website.)

Barb Friedberg Personal Finance reminds us that persistence leads to success, gleaning wisdom from Daniel Goleman (the guy who wrote Emotional Intelligence.) They recommend having a short memory, which might be the best advice we’ve heard since “check the spare tire pressure before you go off-roading, not during.”

But I want a return on my investment NOW!!! Step back and get comfortable. It’s going to take a while. FMF at Free Money Finance explains in detail what you should already know, which is that people who wait until the last minute to invest probably aren’t going to get rich.

This week’s carnival is bi-hemispheric. Aussie at Australian Stock Market Investing Blog echoes the sentiment of legendary investor Benjamin Graham, that dividends are the investor’s secret weapon. Rising prices are great, but dividends are a lot more reliable.

Wait, we’re not done with that half of the globe. From Papua New Guinea and Money Help For Christians, Craig Ford tells you how to file self-employment taxes (in the U.S., silly.)

/checks Google Maps to make sure that PNG lies entirely below the Equator. It does, but it’s close.

Suba of Wealth Informatics writes far better in English than you do in whatever your 2nd language is. Here she makes a guest appearance on The College Investor, explaining 5 ways Facebook is costing you money. Why people enjoy sharing details of their lives with strangers and pseudo-friends, we have no idea. Or at least one of us doesn’t.

/will never be on Facebook, and even wishes his own site didn’t require an “About Us” page

The cities with the fastest growing job markets? No, not there. Not there, either. Yes, there. And a bunch of places you probably never imagined. PT at PT Money lays them out in handy point form.

How’d your investments make out last year? Kevin McGee, a/k/a Thousandaire, almost doubled the S&P 500 with his turbo-powered, risk-embracing 401(k) strategy.

What will $50 get you on the stock market? Aside from 1/12 of a share of Google, that is? More than you might think. Mark at Buy Like Buffett explains how to get in and get diversified for less.

From the mellifluously titled Banks That Don’t Use Chex Systems, WB explains: “now more than ever, it is very important to have a good credit score. Not only does it make it easier to borrow money, most big financial transactions that you are part of will be impacted by that 3 digit number.”

WARNING: this is what happens when you hire an Indian remote assistant to do anything more complicated than data entry. If you enjoy reading SEO keywords piled together haphazardly until something resembling a blog post emerges, then we draw you to Save Few Bucks and this curious diatribe on school textbooks. Excuse us, textbook buying solutions for all your textbook needs. Improving your textbook experience. Heck, we’ve got a carnival to fill.

Alright, enough diversion. At The Sun’s Financial Diary, the Sun tells us what happened to his net worth in the previous year, breaking it down in detail and providing charts. BONUS: according to his About Us page, you can leave a comment on his blog in Chinese and he’ll respond in kind.

What’s more fun than budgeting? Nothing that we’re aware of. Michael Duchesne of Management Degree explains not just why to measure everything, but what and how to.

If you think the list price for a home is the price you’re out of pocket, you’re delightfully naive. Ann Douglas at DoorFly explains closing costs and how they can vary.

New to Control Your Cash? One point we hammer is that a credit card’s interest rate is irrelevant. As long as the issuer doesn’t charge you an annual fee and gives you a large enough credit limit and sufficient rewards, they can charge you 4,357,199% and it shouldn’t matter. In other words, if you’re carrying a balance, you’re an idiot. So this post by Jeff Weber at Smart Balance Transfers is analogous to us telling you smoking is retarded, but here are some low-tar cigarettes you might be interested in. Enjoy. And try not to inhale.

We’re not even close to done. Joe Plemon at Personal Finance By the Book gives us Part 3 of a 4-part series on budgeting. He not only explains how to plan a budget, but gives pointers you never considered.

You’re not going to believe this, but setting goals, starting early and researching are important. No, really. The Amateur Financier gives us 7 financial tips for young people.

Ask the average Canadian for financial advice, and the response will be “never leave your waiter a gratuity.” Not so from Tom at The Canadian Finance Blog, who lists ways to save money on things that go on sale once a year.

Boomer & Echo are Canadian, too. Here’s a post that makes great washroom reading – or something to kick back on the chesterfield and enjoy while wearing your track pants and runners. Either way, “shed’-ule” some time to read it. Given how strong the Canadian dollar is relative to its American counterpart, Boomer’s adding some U.S. dividend stocks to his quarto (that’s what Canadians call a portfolio, eh?)

Alright, one more shifty Canuck. Our most thought-provoking (and potentially depressing) submission comes from 2¢ at Balance Junkie. Thinking about investing in China and/or Ireland this year? Inflation and overleverage might make you change your mind.

Let’s get Arohan himself up on stage to play a number, shall we? The Carnival of Wealth founder comes strong with a piece on the silent killer: no, not hypertension. Inflation.

And finally, here’s a recent one of ours, on how to get tenants to make you rich.

Wanna get in on next week’s fun? The Carnival never stops. Go here for details, where you’ll find old posts, future hosts, and rules for submitting.